Gas versus charcoal

For a suburbanite, and especially one living in a city where home charred flesh is on the menu 13 months out of the year, the great gas versus charcoal barbecue debate is an important topic. But rest easy, for tonight I stand before you all with the final answer…

The main benefit of gas grills is convenience–turn that knob, wait a few minutes, and boom you’re in business; buy a bottle of gas, or if you have the money and know you’re going to be doing a whole heap of barbecuing, run a line to the backyard and jack it in. Never run out again. Beautiful.

Barbecuing with charcoal requires purchasing a big bag of the black stuff and lighter fluid, fire it up, then wait interminably for the fire to reach optimum temperature.

The argument for charcoal, on the other hand, is taste. It tastes better, they say. But here’s the smoking gun: People who prefer charcoal barbecuing drink domestic beer. And not the good stuff, like Fat Tire, Shiner Bock, or anything brewed with pride like that. They like Bud, Coors, and MGD.

And of course, anybody who willingly purchases those kinds of beers isn’t to be trusted with any kind of opinion regarding taste.

So, QED, gas it is. Now we can all sleep well at night.